shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
