Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
