I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hippo gnu deer
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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