Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
