I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
