i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
