just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
