If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
