I hate all girls vehemently.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
