No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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