God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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