What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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