i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
