Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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