just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
