she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
