so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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