we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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