I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
