You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
