So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
