my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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