After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
God, I missed his penis.
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