good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
