Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
