Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
