It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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