I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize