i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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