8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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