Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
