I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
