Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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