im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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