last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
