so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize