You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Randomize
