He kissed a someone with a penis
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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