i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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