I'm jealous of your bromance
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
