Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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