you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
