took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.