Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
