Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
