i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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