I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
