Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize