too bad you live with your parents still
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
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I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
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Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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