yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
