he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
