I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
