I'm so fucking centered right now
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
