Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
