Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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