literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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