i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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