I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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