It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
