I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
